I no longer remember the precise context for the quotation featured above, but like murder cases involving the drummers from heavy metal bands, it's probably a mystery "best left unsolved". Sometimes you really are better off not knowing.

This is the eighth year of the PDML Quotations List. If it keeps going much longer we'll have to celebrate the annual posting of the PDMLQL with a televised ceremony every year. Expect to see it on one of those low-rent cable networks — sandwiched in among programs like Bass Fishing for NASCAR Drivers and Antique Restoration Cage Fight and "infomercials" that explain how to lose weight while buying real estate for no money down. Probably in 3D.

This is the traditional lead-in to the annual PDML Book project, of which the Quotations List is a featured part. Perhaps "featured" might be overstating the matter somewhat — it's generally stashed in an appendix at the back of the book, hidden away like the slightly embarrassing relative you'd prefer people outside the family not to know about. (That may be a bad analogy for PDML members — I suspect most of us are the embarrassing relatives in our own families...)

As always, I have as included a quotation or two (or three — the only tradition is that lots of things change every year) from people completely unassociated with The List, simply because I can't pass up a good quotation if I think it's applicable to photography. Or if it's applicable to anything else we discuss on the PDML. Which means it can be applicable to anything at all.

So on that note, let's dive into this year's list, the annual PDML compendium of wisdom on the subject of photography... and beer, cormorants and motorcycles.

I'd quite like to be in next year's book as a photographer, not a smart-arse.

— Bob Walkden

Wherever I am, that's what I shoot. Whatever the results are, that's what they are.

— Frank Theriault

Part of the skill is knowing when you need to grab a bigger hammer.

— Larry Colen

'Level' is a relative term.

— Rick Womer

It was an awful lot like work, except for the bit about the paycheck.

— Larry Colen

I've taken over a thousand photos so far with the camera. 99.999999% are crap and the rest are not quite crap.

— Kenton Brede

I like it so much so that I'm tempted to cut off all contact with you, henceforth.

— Walt Gilbert

Any species that can paint the Sistine Chapel ceiling and write Moby Dick and put someone on the moon does not have to settle for McDonald's toadburgers, novels by Judith Krantz, and American Idol.

— Harlan Ellison

The PDML is a place of comfort and insanity for the weary traveler.

— Steve Desjardins

It's not a cormorant, but it is a great image!

— Dan Matyola

If I was offered a big discount, as fiscally foolish as it would be, I'd be molesting my credit card to get one.

— Larry Colen

I'm waiting for the K3. It can take pictures at an ISO so high you won't have to remove the lens cap.

— Steve Desjardins

The notion that a photographer should be treated as little more than an hourly wage (earner) is repugnant beyond comment.

— Ctein, on The Online Photographer

If she is a Canon shooter you may never get the K-5 back. She may just send your her used 5D.

— Dave Brooks

I used my Morgan Freeman voice, to emphasize the truth in my statement.

— Miserere

When I say, 'The body feels great in my hands', I mean it's a camera.

— Godfrey DiGiorgi

If I was you I'd move to a country where they don't have things like that.

— Bob Walkden

Digital since 2001. Scaring bears since 1983.

— Dave Brooks

Only one way to settle this. Cormorants at Dawn.

— Doug Brewer

I know that better gear will not make me a better photographer. Better gear makes up for my being a crappy photographer, allowing me to get the photos anyway.

— Larry Colen

If I can afford it, it is inexpensive.

— Bran Everseeking

It was a fine example of technical prose, with a subtext of drooling.

— Steve Desjardins

Don't worry about committing Art yet.

— Doug Brewer

Truth is for when all else fails.

— P.J. Alling

Does it work in the daylight as well? Or is it a vampire camera that can only come out after dark?

— Stan Halpin

It's amazing how much better some images look when viewed from a couple of rooms away.

— Walter Gilbert

If I found I had to adjust for the performance of the camera in some way other than I already do, I'd chuck it.

— Tom Cakalic

You have to try pretty hard to go wrong with a Pentax 50mm.

— Mike Wilson

For all its wonders, Photoshop can't turn a crappy photographer into a good one.

— Walter Gilbert

It's the shots I don't get that bother me.

— Matthew Hunt

Why worry about gear? I need ideas.

— Eckehard M. Wegner

I suspect there is a lot of information that is not visible on a turned-off display.

— Charles Robinson

Mark's got a point, Steve. He might not necessarily be right, but he's got a point!

— Boris Liberman

I could kick my dog instead. But why, when there's Pentax?

— Tom Cakalic

I suspect that there is a lesson to be learned about processing and posting pictures while still a bit drunk.

— Larry Colen

A rotten lens builds character and thoughtful technique. It also takes rotten pictures.

— Steve Desjardins

I'm at my best when I'm really annoying.

— Cotty

Tools for men are like shoes for women. Sometimes a crimson pump really is the only one that works.

— Doug Franklin

You can't have a relationship with a device whose limits are unknown to you, because without limits it keeps becoming something else.

— Brian Eno, Wired magazine

We Pentaxians are damned short on hubris.

— Steve Desjardins

I'm a cloning tool whore.

— Paul Stenquist

Slings and arrows of outrageous commentary invited.

— Rick Womer

The cormorant was chosen as 'Bird of the Year' by German environmentalist organization NABU. While I doubt that this was done in long overdue recognition of the PDML, it is nonetheless nice.

— Eckehard M. Wegner

I'm always at least one flagship behind the times so I'm used to reading about how terrible my current camera is.

— Steve Desjardins

Cameras have been perfect for decades.

— Bob Walkden

It's amazing what a country will do to secure a supply of honey to go with their crumpets.

— Dave Savage

The good thing about editing is that I can appear competent.

— David Mann

Very interesting way to spend one's time in the loony bin.

— Joseph McAllister

I know that I'm not answering the question you asked, but I hope it helps anyway.

— Ira H. Bryant

If the people on this list only answered the questions that were asked then the list would have died off ages ago!

— Ira H. Bryant

I have to ask: If people are too dense to realise they look like the wrong end of a Tom and Jerry frying pan incident, why bother?

— Mike Wilson

Nothing in photography is a sin (except some really sinful things of course).

— Boris Liberman

Beware, people. Things seen can't be unseen.

— Anthony Farr

I didn't ever think I'd use these words in a single sentence, but I agree everything with Cotty says here.

— Chris Mitchell

Just the experience of having a tripod of my height is exhilarating!

— Fernando Terrazzino

Any harm I can do Adobe will be done with a song in my heart.

— Mike Wilson

What's the point of being a photographer when someone like McCurry is so damned good?

— Bob Walkden

Canada Geese are the next best thing if you run out of cormorants.

— Chris Mitchell

They were a little nuts, but they had good long lives.

— Paul Stenquist

May not be able to tell the difference between soft and sharp, but at this point would prefer sharp.

— Eric Weir

Well, she's naked!

— Bob Sullivan

I was dead sober as well, but I'm hoping to change that soon.

— Paul Stenquist

I spent 5 years in the Marine Corps, so I've been abused by professionals; it is unlikely this friendly group could hurt my feelings.

— Dan Matyola

I would like to keep the list from becoming a Flickr group, where every photo is wonderful.

— Doug Brewer

I learned a lot from him — although I still know nothing.

— Dan Matyola

Most of these photos will not survive a more serious cull, but right now they don't make me spew.

— Doug Brewer

I find that art is easy to define. What I find difficult is to get two or more people to agree on a definition.

— Doug Franklin

A good lens is like syphilis: you get it from your friends.

— Bob Walkden

Actually, I do have a lot of dust on my sensor, but those are definitely birds.

— Frank Theriault

I'm happiest when I'm annoying.

— Doug Brewer

I'd like to buy my wife a K-x so I can use it.

— Bob Sullivan

I love you man, and I've never even met you. Seen your stomach on a webcam sure, but never met you.

— Cotty

One man's charming is another's charmin.

— Mike Wilson

Beauty continues to be in the eye of the beholder.

— Jerry in Arizona

That's why I always wear safety glasses.

— John Sessoms

No reason not to collect money from the rich idiots if they're already collecting it from us poor idiots.

— Miserere

I own bagpipe records.

— Bob Sullivan

That wasn't a camera review, it was a total fuck-up by someone who drinks too much.

— Bill Robb

It's sort of an alpine-chalet-meets-psychotic-glazier design theme.

— Doug Franklin

I never buy zooms. I find running back and forth a good source of exercise.

— Steve Desjardins

Email lists are like Star Trek with timelines and wormholes.

— Cotty

LBA never got me a better buzz.

— Bruce Walker

Personally I think art status is irrelevant, but I suppose it gives the pointy heads something to talk about.

— Bob Walkden

You got on a boat with Tim?!?

— Rick Womer

If I'm going to dislike his work and roll my eyes at it, I'd rather do it in front of a print than in the Photography aisle of a bookstore.

— Miserere

The interface is about as intuitive as Photoshop's, which isn't saying much.

— Miserere

I think she was actually dipping the kids in plastic and then airbrushing them.

— Bill Robb

Paychecks are nice, but jobs do get in the way of important things.

— Larry Colen

I'd say that the white balance is good and your subject is wrong.

— Bill Robb

If my standards were any more relaxed, they'd slip into a coma.

— Larry Colen

That's a really nice picture in a barking mad sort of way.

— Bob Walkden

I've clearly been influenced by the financial planning methods of the PDML.

— Steve Desjardins

A lens design doesn't have to be very good to be diffraction-limited at f/32-64.

— Matthew Hunt

Great stuff. Brought back the 60's for me, not that I ever left.

— Dave Brooks

I can see my 99 pence budget for the last card reader won't cut it.

— Malcolm Smith

I would suggest searching the PDML archive for 'cormorant', but you'd probably get more hits from that than you would Googling 'sex'.

— Bob Walkden

The answer to all photographic questions is 'it depends'.

— Doug Brewer

I think perhaps a better title may help the image to work but if it doesn't speak for itself it is probably not a keeper.

— Eckehard M. Wegner

I may be wrong, but I did write what I meant.

— John Sessoms

First I stopped selling pictures, then I stopped commenting pictures and now I'm just letting people see them.

— Dag Thrane

Lightroom is part of the 'Photoshop Family'. Which means it's related to Photoshop in the way that Michael Corleone is related to Vito Corleone.

— Bob Walkden

I was thinking it was all probably for the betterment of humanity... but if Doug is involved I'm not so sure.

— Corey Waters

Since those full-frame cameras are also out of my range, I might as well be picky about things I can't have.

— Steve Desjardins

I'm born in 61, so I'm hip towards any group activities, if I'm coming.

— Tim Øsleby

It really is enlightening to sit around a table, drinking beer and talking photography, not gear.

— Dave Savage

To hell with photography, it's enlightening just to sit around a table drinking beer.

— Bob Walkden

I'm not normally a 'tattoo guy', but the young lady with the tats is kind of making me feel a bit tingly right now.

— Frank Theriault

I do have exceptionally cultured cheese ...

— John Francis

Not owning any exotic lenses, these knobs were completely alien to me.

— Miserere

I'm in it for the photographs, not the journey of processing!

— Godfrey DiGiorgi

Tilted is the new straight.

— Miserere

Time to invest in a slinky dipole.

— Larry Colen

My keyboard just shorted out from the drool running down my chin.

— Christian Skofteland

Hell was designed by Adobe.

— Steve Desjardins

If it's not a cell phone camera, it's niche.

— Graydon Saunders

Tastes differ, of course. Whatever the device, the content is still king.

— Jostein Øksne

No pro can afford to buy a camera that isn't backed by pro-level service.

— Ralf Radermacher

Back when I joined, the PDML was all done with semaphore and relays of hilltop bonfires.

— Bob Walkden

They might be OK for someone that doesn't know their aperture from a hole in the ground.

— Larry Colen

I am toying with the notion of spending some money.

— Stan Halpin

You may obtain this info easily for the Mac. Just open the terminal and enter: ioreg -lw0 | grep IODisplayEDID | sed "/[^<]*</s///" | xxd -p -r | strings -6

— Martin Trautmann

I support any event that features athletic women wearing neoprene wetsuits!

— Frank Theriault

Vulgar ostentation is twice as easy as discipline.

— Beatrice Warde (1900 - 1969)

Fashion photography is trivial... unless I'm getting paid to do it.

— John Sessoms

Time to switch to Thunderbird — The e-mail client, not the wine.

— Paul Sorenson

As an addendum, 'pleased' is as high as my lens meter goes. I reserve 'overly thrilled' for sex with nubile virgins.

— Paul Stenquist

'Virgin' was used in a metaphorical sense here. It's a symbol for young, pure, and beautiful. I don't really want one. (Well, maybe just one.)

— Paul Stenquist

There were no cormorants in the square that day, so I included Canadian content as consolation.

— Chris Mitchell

Very calmly now, place the camera on the floor and step away from it.

— John Sessoms

A cormorant isn't a bird, it's a state of mind.

— Bob Walkden

Fine-boned ladies will let you take their picture with their pig. What's not to enjoy?

— Derby Chang

I wasn't going to post it because it's blurry even by my standards.

— Frank Theriault

Perfection is boorrring.

— Jack Davis

I would not want to live in a world where I could only have one prime.

— Derby Chang

Needs 30 degree tilt and more snow, other than that, great.

— Dave Brooks

It still might not be funny, but it's what I meant to type.

— Christine Aguila

No wonder I have no idea what's going on.

— Bran Everseeking

Wisdom is simply the knowledge that we're not as smart as we once were.

— Paul Stenquist

Is it just me or does DP Review seem to be so into navel gazing that they'll plant their heads up their own butts to see it from the inside?

— P.J. Alling

Could you speak up a bit? I can't hear you over the sound of our awesomeness.

— Bill Robb

This resulted in a sudden vision of dozens of PDMLers clawing away at mashed potatoes with forks to produce 8-foot-high cormorants.

— Cotty

I would just like the PDML to know, that come May, I am not spending my late night GFM campfire social hour chasing a worm.

— Christine Aguila

I have to confess that I keep straining to find something that's in focus.

— Frank Theriault

Being full of joy I have decided to relax my normally Talibanic rule of not mucking about with pictures.

— Bob Walkden

I would particularly like to commend Bill Robb on his excellent grasp of Anglo-Saxon. He makes Beowulf sound like Doris Day.

— Bob Walkden

I speak more Welsh than Aramaic. I can count to 7 in Welsh and say hello.

— Bob Walkden

Hello Kitty leads to dating bikers at age 14.

— Tim Bray

It seems that I need to stop my mind running off at the fingertips.

— Mike Wilson

If Isaac Newton hadn't discovered gravity, one of us surely would have.

— Tom Cakalic

I like the DA35. It makes me look like I might know what I'm doing.

— Graydon

I like the loud shutter. Then again, I have a Harley.

— Steve Desjardins

If I had this lens I could probably attend GFM without actually going there.

— Miserere

Other years:
2019 | 2018 | 2017 | 2016 | 2015 | 2014 | 2013 | 2012 | 2011 | 2009 | 2008 | 2007 | 2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003